The Universe As I See It
An autobiography is so difficult to write because we possess no standards, no objective foundation, from which to judge ourselves. There is really no proper basis for comparison. I know that in many things I am not like others, but I do not know what I am really like. Man cannot compare himself with any other creature…I am a man…Like every other being I am a splinter of the infinite deity…only a mythical being has a range greater than man’s.
Carl Jung. “Memories, Dreams and Reflections.”
This is a letter or something. It’s to you, but not specifically to you. It’s to you and others. Mannerisms, like fractions of memory, become me. I am one with IT and one without IT. I am all IT ever needed and all IT ever feared. People scream and people yell and it makes no difference. They still wind up in hell. That’s the sadness. That’s what makes us think IT is hopeless. That IT has no real meaningbeyondthesocialconstructionweorchestrateforit. In IT’s honor do we pray now. I find it hard to write of spiritual matters. What’s the point of telling a story when there is no story to tell? I understand now. God must be experienced to be understood. It’s like the Tao says. The more you speak of it the less you understand. How do you explain the universe to people when they refuse to believe in anything past the big blue sky?
Check this out:
Mystery and Manifestations
arise from the same source.
This source is called darkness.
Darkness within darkness.
The gateway to all understanding.
–From the Tao Te Ching
But wait, there’s more!
There was something formless and perfect before the universe was born. It is serene. Empty. Solitary. Unchanging. Infinite. Eternally present. It is the mother of the universe. For lack of a better name, I call it the Tao. It flows through all things, inside and out and returns to the origin of all things.
–From the Tao Te Ching Ch. 25
You see, the thing is, is that I’ve been there. I’ve seen that darkness. Experienced it. Been consumed by it. It was terrifying and beautiful all at the same time. But sadly, no one can actually understand that by my meager verbal depictions. There are no words in existence that could accurately manifest that feeling in the human psyche. To understand you must experience. And to experience is to reject all preconceived notions of life, of reality, and most importantly, of yourself. When God begins to flip through the pages of your soul every page turned is a self annihilating exercise in humility. You literally feel naked in the most absolute sense of the word. Part of me wants to believe that is what Judgment feels like…what Adam and Eve felt like after they screwed it all up for the rest of us.